A “Terminal Disease with No Known Cure”

Rest In Peace My Dear Friend Jason, I will never forget you.

The Needle and The Damage Done

By Neil Young
I caught you knockin’
at my cellar door
I love you, baby,
can I have some more
Ooh, ooh, the damage done. I hit the city and
I lost my band
I watched the needle
take another man
Gone, gone, the damage done.

I sing the song
because I love the man
I know that some
of you don’t understand
to keep from running out.

I’ve seen the needle
and the damage done
A little part of it in everyone
But every junkie’s
like a settin’ sun.

My phone rang yesterday…

I answered it. I heard the voice of one of my oldest, dearest friends “I had to call you to tell you that our dear friend  is gone.”

“Gone?”  “Gone Where?”

“He OD’ed…He’s dead.” she said

“No way”. I replied “Seriously?…What the hell?”

She sighed, then said…”I know, I can’t believe it either”.

She and I talked for a while, caught each other up on what we have been up to, said we would talk again soon then ended our call.

My heart grew heavy and tears filled my eyes as my mind filled with memories of him.

He and I became very close a few years ago. We spent a great deal of time together sharing very personal things with one another during that time. We trusted each other with our deepest secrets. That created a special bond between us. I will always love him for the person I came to know, the “real” person under the tough exterior.

Some who knew of him, were afraid of him. He was a “tough” guy.  Don’t get me wrong, he earned his reputation as a “tough” guy..He wouldn’t think twice about fighting anyone who had done him wrong and he usually won the fight, but he was also wise Many of the younger guys looked up to him and sought his advice before making stupid mistakes in their lives.

He was fiercely loyal and protective of those he loved and would not tolerate anyone speaking ill of them or trying to do them harm.

The death of my friend is a chilling and grim reminder of just how fragile and fleeting life truly is.

So many times, I had bitched at him about his opioid and Heroin use. With tears in my eyes, I begged him to stop before it killed him.

He used to laugh at me and say “Come on girl, quit tripping on me…I’ve been doing this shit for years and I’m still here, I know how much to do-I’m not some dumb ass kid who is going to overdose and die”.

I have lost so many people that I love to Heroin and Opioids. Senseless, stupid, preventable deaths have taken some truly wonderful human beings from this world…Why?

If you have ever witnessed someone detox from heroin or opioids, you know just how long and horribly that person suffers both physically and mentally from the withdrawal.

The vomiting, diarrhea, hot and cold sweats, aching bones, shivering cold, sometimes having violent seizures…Those symptoms can last two or three weeks, during which time they can’t sleep and can’t hold any food or liquid down. It’s a horrible thing to watch. There are other symptoms as well, some last for years.

I was stunned the first time I witnessed someone I loved who had just kicked opioids/heroin. After going through a month of serious withdrawals as described above, they went out and picked up some heroin and got high again.

I had a hell of a time wrapping my brain around it. I had helped them through what I thought was the worst withdrawal symptoms I had ever seen-I thought they might die as they kicked the drugs, yet after all that, they went right back out and got more. Madness!

…But for the Grace of God, there go I…

Sometimes, I am amazed that I am still alive.

I Remember the laughter and the insane things we did together. Those memories are bittersweet now.

There will never be an answer to my questions…WHY?

The dead cannot speak and the living refuse to believe it could ever happen to them.

The Dark Horse blinds their eyes as it steals their soul. It forces them into submission, a cruel master with only one purpose…to kill.

For my friend, the end came far too soon. His death weighs heavily on my heart because I knew the man well. I wonder what his thoughts were as he fixed his lethal last dose?

…I wonder if he knew his life was over as he felt the cold sting of the needle enter his vein for the last time?

…I wonder if he ever thought about the sorrow and guilt that would be felt by those he left behind?

The fact of the matter is this…He is Dead. Nothing will ever bring him back…Ever.

Game Over.

Opioids & Heroin kill…PERIOD!

White, Black, Asian, Hispanic, Pacific Islanders, Moms, Dads, Daughters, Sons, Sisters, Brothers, Aunts, Uncles, Children, Grandchildren, rich, poor, educated, ignorant, homeless, wealthy, veterans, democrats, republicans…Opioids & Heroin DO NOT discriminate. No matter who you are or where you are from, they will love you to death.

Use them even one time and they leave a part of themselves with you for always. That part lies in wait, silently, patiently…When you feel safe, they awaken and speak to you in a smooth, gentle whisper…beckoning you, reminding you of the warm comforting embrace, the euphoria that they will bring.

They call too you “Just give us one more chance…We will do our magic…You will feel nothing…The pain, the fear, the sorrow, the madness will slip away with just one little taste”

Like the mythical siren who sang out to sailors who were lost at sea,  luring them  to their deaths…They are the liar,  the thief…. the killer.

It does not matter if you have pushed them away. No matter how long you have stayed away from them, nor how far you have run, they will find you, they will feed on your soul, they will kill you.

The government has suddenly become aware of the opiate epidemic that has been growing steadily worse for the past fifteen or twenty years. They are “warning” us about the dangers of using Opiates…. It reminds me of good ‘ol Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say No” campaign back in the eighties….Talk is cheap and the death toll rises.

Let’s get real people…Addiction isn’t magically fixed by us taxpayers paying for a politicians wife to tell us “just say no to drugs”.

Addiction is a disease…A Terminal Disease.

Addiction isn’t a choice.

Addiction is like a Cancer. It doesn’t just go away because you tell it NO!

The Disease of Addiction needs to be discussed honestly and openly. We have to stop paying lip service and start being realistic about it always,  not just when it hits epidemic level (as it is now).

Imprisonment doesn’t heal the disease…Punishment is not a cure.

We need to work together to find a solution…Stop the disease from spreading…keep it from taking any more lives.


“The Needle Lies”
From “Operation Mindcrime

Written & Performed By Queensryche

[Nikki:] “I’ve had enough and I WANT OUT!”
[Dr. X:] “You can’t walk away now.”I looked back once
And all I saw was his face
Smiling, the needle crying
Walking out of his room
With mirrors, afraid I heard him scream
You’ll never get away

Cold and shaking
I crawled down alleys to try
And scrape away the tracks that marked me
Slammed my face into walls of concrete
I stared, amazed at the words written on the wall

Don’t ever trust
Don’t ever trust the needle, it lies
Don’t ever trust
Don’t ever trust the needle when it cries…
Cries your name

Wet and raving
The needle keeps calling me back
To bloody my hands forever
Carved my cure with the blade
That left me in scars
Now every time I’m weak
Words scream from my arm

Don’t ever trust
Don’t ever trust the needle, it lies
Don’t ever trust
Don’t ever trust the needle when it cries…
Cries your name
Don’t ever trust
Don’t ever trust the needle, it lies
Don’t ever trust
Don’t ever trust the needle when it cries…
Cries your name


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