The Dark Horse Steals Another Soul

Rest In Peace My Dear Friend Jason, I will never forget you.

The Needle and The Damage Done

By Neil Young
I caught you knockin’
at my cellar door
I love you, baby,
can I have some more
Ooh, ooh, the damage done.

I hit the city and
I lost my band
I watched the needle
take another man
Gone, gone, the damage done.

I sing the song
because I love the man
I know that some
of you don’t understand
Milk-blood
to keep from running out.

I’ve seen the needle
and the damage done
A little part of it in everyone
But every junkie’s
like a settin’ sun.

My phone rang yesterday afternoon and I looked at the caller I.D.

I saw that it was a California number so I answered it and heard the voice of one of my oldest and dearest friends…She said “I had to call you to tell you  our dear friend (name omitted) is gone.”

“Gone?”  “Gone Where?”

“He OD’ed…He’s GONE.” she said

“Fuck Me”. I replied “Seriously?…What the Fuck?”

She sighed, then said…”I know, He has always seemed to be indestructible, like the last person who would actually die of an overdose.”

“No shit…Dammit Dammit DAMMIT, I hate that evil fucking Demon Drug!”

She and I talked for a while, I haven’t seen her in at least seven or eight years but she and her friend are coming next month to visit for a week. We are both excited about seeing each other again after so many year

 

…This death of our friend is a chilling and grim reminder of just how fragile and fleeting life is.  His death hit both of us hard because he was just one of those people who we just never thought would die or at least not die from an overdose. She and I have both lost many friends to senseless, stupid, preventable deaths and the bottom line is WHY????

…But for the Grace of God, there go I.

Living the life I have led, I am at times amazed that I am still alive. I am more aware of just how blessed I am at times such as these, when my mind forces me to remember where I have come from, the memories I shared with my now deceased friend…Remembering the laughter, the absolutely insane things we did together, the memories are bittersweet now. He and I had not talked for quite some time, but as with my dear friend who will be here next month, time and distance apart never changed our friendship…We have always picked up right where we left off, knowing that no matter what, we will be true friends till the end.

His end came far too soon and it weighs heavily on my heart because I knew the man well. I wonder what his last thoughts were as he fixed his lethal last dose…I wonder if he knew it was over when he felt the cold sting of the needle enter his vein for the last time?

I wonder if he just rode off on the dark horse without ever realizing the pain and suffering his last ride would leave behind?

I remember numerous conversations he and I had where I expressed my fears about heroin…how so many people I have loved had so easily and readily given up their very  lives to it. His response was the same as all of those who have gone before him…I know what I am doing and how much to do, that will never happen to me.

I have been guilty of saying those same words when those whom cared about me expressed their concerns about my drug use (I never did Heroin because I am allergic to opiates) so I could not, in all honesty ever argue with him about it.

I’ve had the same conversation with many friends who were heroin addicts and told them that “my drug doesn’t kill people like heroin does”, but that one never worked with them because they would point out that in reality, my drug does kill, just takes a little longer to finish the job.

The fact of the matter is this…He is Dead. Nothing will ever bring him back…Ever.

Game Over.

Heroin kills. Heroin kills White, Black, Asian, Hispanic, Pacific Islanders, Moms, Dads, Daughters, Sons, Sisters, Brothers, Aunts, Uncles, Children, Grandchildren, rich, poor, educated, ignorant, homeless, wealthy, veterans, democrats, republicans…Heroin DOES NOT discriminate. Heroin loves you to death. Once she has entered your body, she leaves a part of herself there for always and that part of her waits patiently for as long as it takes for your life to hit a bump. She awakens then and speaks to you in her smooth, gentle whisper…beckoning you to her, reminding you of her warm comforting embrace and the euphoria that she will bring if you just give her one more moment to work her magic…You will feel nothing, everything, all the pain, the fear, the sorrow, the madness will slip away with just one little kiss from her lips….Forever lost in her sweet embrace…

She is much like the mythical siren who sang out to sailors who were lost at sea,  luring them  to their deaths…She is a liar, she is a thief,  she is a killer.

Heroin has one ultimate goal, to kill you. It does not matter if you have pushed her away. No matter how long you have stayed away from her, nor how far you have run, she will find you, she will feed on your soul, she will kill you.

The government has suddenly become aware of the opiate epidemic that has been growing steadily worse for the past fifteen or twenty years. They are “warning” us about the dangers of using Opiates…blah blah blah. It reminds me of good ‘ol Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say No” campaign back in the eighties.

Let’s get real people…Addiction isn’t magically fixed by us taxpayers paying for a politicians wife to tell us to just say no to drugs. Addiction is a fucking disease…A Terminal Disease-that means, we can say no all we want, but guess what? Addiction isn’t about choosing to tell it yes or no. Addiction is like Cancer- Cancer doesn’t just go away because you told it NO! Addiction, like Cancer may go into remission, if you follow the guidelines prescribed to you by your doctor. If you remain vigilant and do exactly what you are told to do, you may just send it into remission. Addiction is no different, how we as a society deal with the disease of addiction however, is  far different.

We have to be honest and direct about the disease of addiction rather than continue to pay lip service when the loss of life due to it reaches epidemic level as it is now.

We put those whom are suffering from the disease in prisons, punishment is not a cure.

 

“The Needle Lies”
From “Operation Mindcrime
Performed By Queensryche

[Nikki:] “I’ve had enough and I WANT OUT!”
[Dr. X:] “You can’t walk away now.”

I looked back once
And all I saw was his face
Smiling, the needle crying
Walking out of his room
With mirrors, afraid I heard him scream
You’ll never get away

Cold and shaking
I crawled down alleys to try
And scrape away the tracks that marked me
Slammed my face into walls of concrete
I stared, amazed at the words written on the wall

Don’t ever trust
Don’t ever trust the needle, it lies
Don’t ever trust
Don’t ever trust the needle when it cries…
Cries your name

Wet and raving
The needle keeps calling me back
To bloody my hands forever
Carved my cure with the blade
That left me in scars
Now every time I’m weak
Words scream from my arm

Don’t ever trust
Don’t ever trust the needle, it lies
Don’t ever trust
Don’t ever trust the needle when it cries…
Cries your name
Don’t ever trust
Don’t ever trust the needle, it lies
Don’t ever trust
Don’t ever trust the needle when it cries…
Cries your name

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