I believe that I have come full circle in my life. Back to the things that really matter, the simple things.
I had it all when I was a baby.
I only knew love…Well, hunger too, but as far as emotions go, I only knew love.
As I grew up, I learned how to be scared, how to be angry, how to be hurt, and how to be distrustful of human beings.
I learned about friendships, I learned about betrayal, I learned all about pain.
I had my heart broken, I learned about death, I learned about sorrow, and occasionally, I learned that life is not always bad.
As I headed into adulthood, I learned about karma, or better defined: Action and Reaction.
I became aware of my energy, and what I could do by simply directing my thoughts and actions into whatever I truly wanted to come into my life.
I began to feel empowered, no longer the victim of my past. I learned about gratitude, about forgiveness, and most of all I learned about love.
I thought I had it all together in my late twenties, and became over-confident, and very sure of my path….
Then came my hardest life’s lessons…Humility, integrity, and grace. These lessons forced me to my knees, and as I fell, I learned about shame, about guilt, about pride.
I learned then about consequences, and choice, blame and remorse.
I learned about addiction, about lies, about self-destructiveness, about manipulation and about the dark side that lived within me. It hid in the shadows of my mind and proved to be a worthy adversary, as I was unable, or unwilling to see it.
In my not seeing it, I gave it the room it needed to grow and fester …A virus that was eating away at the very core of my being, a disease that affected my heart, mind and soul.
My thoughts were of revenge, of blame, of anger,denial, hurting others, and destroying myself.
I lived in fear, in desperation, in darkness. Paranoia and loneliness were what I drew to me through my negative thoughts and actions.
During this period of my life, I jokingly referred to myself as “The Poster Child for Murphy’s Law”…Sadly, it was a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I learned a powerful lesson then; “Be careful what you wish for” (and what you think),” because you will physically manifest those things”.
Thoughts are powerful things!
In retrospect, I realize that all of the experiences in my life have been for the good. As I experienced them, I may have classified them as “good” or “bad” experiences, but in reality, the most amazing growth, and changes in the way that I think, feel and act, come from those experiences and cataclysmic events in my past, which at the time, I deemed “Bad”.
The crazy thing is, I learned this lesson from my dog….